Eternal Humiliation
by thisdancingjuice
Summary: Smoothies, chickens and a giant gumball are what it takes to knock down CDC - literally - and he has to find out that humiliation is not a good look on him. Maybe Sonny can change that? --Sonny and Chad share a moment, set after 2x07 "Gummy With A Chance"


Hey loves!

I promised you new stuff in May, and here I am! :)

How has everybody been liking season two so far? It seems like most people are disappointed, but I LOVE it. I feel like it's been elevated to a whole new level of funny, Demi's and Tiffany's acting have improved so much, Brandon & Doug still crack me up beyond belief and Sterling is just Sterling. Whatever he does, he's got me swooning. 3

That being said, I need June 13+20 right now. Gosh, I can't wait for the Channy plot to pick up! It's going to be incredible!

Enough rambling though, here it is, my newest work: Eternal Humiliation! Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer:** I recently bought myself a car! :) That's about all I own though.....

**Warning**: Spoilers up to 2x07 Gummy With A Chance; this is actually a follow-up to the episode

**Dedication**: This is dedicated to everybody whose stories have been stolen. I don't know why, but recently the story-stealing increased on and it's a trend that seriously needs to stop. Be creative and make up your own stuff, peeps! You'll feel better, I promise.

So this goes out to the amazing **Emma** aka **DemiandSelenaFan**. She's a great person, her reviews && tweets make my day and her stories rock (CHECK THEM OUT YO). :)

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_'Hey, this is Connie. Sorry I couldn't pick up the phone! Leave a message!'_

"Hey mum, it's me, Sonny! Just wanted to let you know that you can unpack your mops, we're not leaving! Tawni helped curing me and I got my funny back! Uh-huh. Tawni! Helped! Can you believe that? Yeah, me neither! Of course she didn't really want to because, you know, she's Tawni Hart and all and she even complained about– wait, that's not why I'm calling. Um... anyways, I'll just hang up now, get some fro-yo and we'll talk later, when I get home! Love you, mum! Bye!"

Sonny grinned broadly, stuffed her phone in her purse and stepped into the hallways, heading towards the cafeteria. Less than an hour ago, she was packing up, completely depressed and convinced that she'd have to leave 'So Random!' and go back to Wisconsin. But now her funny was back and so was sunny Sonny.

Flashing her trademark smile at a nearby production assistant, the girl continued her way, practically skipping.

She _loved_ when things didn't turn out the way she was afraid they would.

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Oh, how he _hated_, when things didn't turn out the way he wanted them to.

Heaving another breath, Chad Dylan Cooper closed his eyes to shut out the throbbing headache he'd been suffering from ever since a giant, sticky _gumball_ had knocked him to the floor.

Grunting, the actor slowly sat up and pressed two fingers against his temple, hoping to soothe the pain. _No such luck._

He was supposed to be in his dressing room, enjoying a banana-grape smoothie, curtsy of Señor Smoothie II and reveling in the glory of being on the cover of Tween Weekly – again.

He was definitely _not_ supposed to lie on the cold, hard concrete floor of Condor Studios' hallways, covered in said banana-grape smoothie, chicken on his head, while gasping for breath in mid conniption.

Humiliation was not a good look on Chad Dylan Cooper, didn't Tico and Sady know that? Um... Rico and Pady.... or was it Chico and–

"Ugh, nevermind," the blonde grumbled, "they're _so_ going to pay for this."

But first he'd have to make sure to blackmail the Tween Weekly people into not publishing those horrendous pictures of him. _And_ take something to help this splitting headache. _And_ get rid of that chicken on top of his head. _And_ shower.

Wiping a smoothie-coated hand over his sweaty forehead, Chad grimaced. This day couldn't possibly get any worse.

"**Chad?"**

Yeah, scratch that, it totally was about to get worse.

"Go away, Sonny."

"So that was _your_ scream a few minutes ago, huh?"

"..."

"I'll take that as a 'Yes'. Well, at least it wasn't as girly as the one in the woods!"

"I said: Go away, Sonny."

"I know. I'm not deaf."

"Uh-huh. So, for once, take a hint and move it, will you?"

"Harsh."

"Deal with it. Preferably somewhere far, _far_ away from here."

Refusing to look at Sonny, the blonde actor crossed his arms and nervously tapped his feet against the floor. Being humiliated in front of some wannabe journalist was one thing, but in front of Sonny, the girl he secretly lik-_um_ loathed? Not gonna happen.

In the meantime, Sonny had carefully approached the sulking boy and sat down next to him. She peered at him out of the corner of her eyes and really took in his appearance: He was basically covered in green-ish ick – she knew _ick _better than anybody else out there – and his usually perfect hair was unkempt and–

"Chad..."

"Why are you still here?"

"Is that **a chicken** on top of your head?"

Chad growled loudly and finally turned towards Sonny, angry tears of humiliation slowly building up in his eyes.

"Yes. There's a chicken on my head and I'm covered in banana-grape smoothie. Any questions? No? Good. Now _get_ a good laugh, _get_ it over with and _get_ going."

While Sonny was about to crack up moments ago, she definitely wasn't going to now. She swallowed the lump that had firmly lodged itself in her throat upon seeing Chad tear up and lose his grip. The girl slowly shuffled closer to him until her knee brushed his and their faces were closer than ever. Closer than they probably should be, but _whatever_.

She caught his eye, flashed a sympathetic smile at him and slowly grasped one of his hands in hers. Rubbing her thumb soothingly over his palm, Sonny reached her other hand up towards his face and brushed a few sticky strands of hair out of his face.

Chad reveled in her touch and closed his eyes, the hint of a smile curling around his thin lips. He felt her fingertips softly brushing his forehead, tickling his hair only to... _poke the chicken_?

"Sonny. Tell me you did **not** just poke the chicken."

The brunette girl smiled sheepishly at his incredulous glare and raised both hands to lift the chicken off of his head and deposit it on the floor next to her.

"Son-naaay."

She giggled and poked his cheek.

"Eww, you just poked me with the exact same finger you had touched the chicken with!"

"That I did."

"Yuck! Can you say 'disgusting'?"

"Um, if I remember correctly you're the one covered in smoothie who had said chicken on top of his head just moments ago. _Can you say 'disgusting'?_"

Chad flushed and quickly diverted his gaze from Sonny. The girl just sighed and contemplated the best way to get him to tell her what happened. _'Ugh, here goes nothing.'_

"Soo."

"Sooo."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Nope."

"Aww, you're no fun."

"Apparently neither are you, judging from all the boos you've been getting since your last show."

"Actually: Funny, little story! I–"

"Sonny."

"No, believe me, it's really funn–"

"Son-naaay."

"Gosh, FINE."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

The two teens chuckled at that and Chad sat up straighter, already regretting what he was about to confess.

"I missed that."

"Missed what?"

"Fine-fine-good-good-fighting with you."

"Yeah... we haven't done that in a while, have we?"

"Hmmm..."

"I've missed it, too."

Sonny blushed after her confession, while Chad's lips curled upwards in a small grin, gently nudging her right leg with his left one. The comedienne flashed him her brightest smile, nervously shuffling her feet. Being close to Chad without jumping each other's throat was still new to her. But a good kind of new. She felt like they were finally getting _somewhere_. And while Sonny had no idea where exactly that was, she really, _really_ liked the direction they were heading.

She was snapped out of her revery, when Chad stood up quickly only to groan, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples frantically.

Sonny gazed at him confusedly, got up and waited for him to make the next move.

"That stupid gumball gave me the most throbbing headache in the history of throbbing headaches. _Stupid_. CDC doesn't do throb–"

"–bing headaches, I got it. Wait, did you just say _gumball_?"

Chad realized his mistake too late and glared at her warningly, "What I'm about to tell you will never leave this hallway and shall remain our little secret, capiche?"

Sonny had to fight a grin, "Sure, I'm good at keeping secrets! You know, there was this one time–"

Chad rolled his eyes, but couldn't fight off the grin that crept onto his face, "Sonny, you're doing it again."

The brunette in question blushed, "Oh... Sorry!"

"It's alright. As I was saying: The gumball story, ah. So my, um... alternative energy source proved to be rather dysfunctional and thanks to a short circuit, every single electronic device in my dressing room overheated. Hence the chicken on my head and me being covered in smoothie. Then, when I left my dressing room, a giant, sticky gumball rolled around the corner and kinda.... overran me."

Sonny's nose wrinkled and she stared at him in confusion, "Why do I feel like you left some important information out?"

"Bah bah bah, don't bother, I told you everything you would possibly need to know. All further information is for me to know and for _nobody else_ to ever find out."

At times she wanted to slap herself for finding his arrogant ways so attractive.

"And that's it. So now I reek of banana and grapes, my hair is covered in grease and my head feels like it's going to explode. Plus, some Tween Weekly bimbo got the whole disaster on camera and I will have to suffer eternal humiliation," he chanced a quick look at her, "And to be honest, I can't deal with that. Humiliation, I mean...."

Sonny eyed Chad in wonder, "That was the most honest and sincere thing you've ever said. I'm impressed." The blonde only shrugged, "Props accepted."

At this, the girl chuckled heartily, snorted (_stupid cute._) in the process and lightly punched his shoulder, calling for a goofy smile on Chad's face.

She leaned up and brushed tender kisses over his cheeks, effectively taking Chad's breath and wit away. Sonny grinned at him and winked, "Yum. That smoothie tastes delicious."

Chad gaped at her, slack-jawed, eyes trailing from her rosy lips – _that had just touched his skin, thank you very much _– to her warm, brown eyes which were seemingly glittering with mirth.

"You – I – just – I mean – woah."

"I managed to turn Chad Dylan Cooper into a stuttering fool. GO ME!"

"..."

"Speechless? Dang, I got you gooood."

"..."

"Aww, come on, Chad, this whole banter thing is no fun, when you don't say anything."

"..."

"So, what do you say, we'll go to my dressing room, you can lie down on my couch and I'll rub your–"

"Oooh, Allison, who would've thought. Kinky."

"– temples to get rid of your headache. HA! Gotcha."

"That was not very nice."

"Coming from the head ambassador of Jerkoslovakia himself."

"Haven't heard that one in a while, Monroe! In hindsight I really outdid myself with that eggsalad video, it was– "

"Shut up."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"I feel like we've been here before."

"Impossible. Every moment spent with CDC is unique."

"Good to have you back, Cooper."

Chad sent her a questioning look, "What do you mean?"

Sonny shrugged, grasped his hand and absentmindedly played with his fingers.

"Let's just say, humiliation is not a good look on you. I don't like seeing you like that."

"I can't believe I'm actually gonna say this, but: I agree."

The girl flashed him a quick grin and gently tugged on his hand.

"Let's get going. I should have some Tylenol in my cabinet."

"Awesome."

"And if you're lucky, maybe I actually will rub your–"

"HA!"

"TEMPLES. Gosh, Cooper."

"You know you want me, Monroe."

"Maybe, but definitely not while you're covered in fruit and chicken."

She gave him a playful once-over, let go of his hand and sashayed her way to her dressing room, leaving a wide-eyed, yet smirking Chad in her wake.

_Suddenly, eternal humiliation actually didn't sound so bad anymore._

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Voilà :) I hope you enjoyed reading "Eternal Humiliation"! As per usual, if you want to tell me your thoughts, wishes, criticism or anything else, you can do so by hitting the 'Review' button down there! :)

And check back for more oneshots next week! :) I'm on Pentecost holidays = no university for me = loads of time to finally work on all the ideas that have been floating around my head for a while!

Love,

Mona


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